im a fourth through my senior year....

i am a fourth through my senior year...i seriously started crying today thinking about it. it is going so fast! but good news..the most stressful week of life is..over! goodness gracious. i really wish i was smart. school would be so much easier! i study for tests for hours, and i still get bad grades. what is wrong with me? it is one of the most frustrating things in the world.  i would get into any college i wanted, and i wouldnt even have to try! ugh anyways. this week included 2 days of work, open gyms, end of term, and sadies madness. plus all of the other little things on the side. im happy to say its over though. now i actually should get started on scholorships stuff. i need to apply to colleges too....man this is a longer process than i thought.

so i've decided i reallllyyy need a camera.  it is driving me crazy not having one!  i usually take so many pictures and it is killing me not having any of my senior year! man. life is just crazy right now.  i am still not sure if im trying out for the basketball team. i am not sure i want to put myelf through what i went through, again this year.  i really want to play, but i just dont know. this could seriously change my senior year. i was also thinking of doing lacrosse....i think it would be super fun. i am just not sure! tryouts are in a week...and im still on the fence....

i have been writing this narrative for my college writing class and its gotten me thinking about my life. what have i done with my life?? am i just letting it slip past me?? levi lost his first tooth the other night...it feels like a few months ago we moved here and he was year old. in a year..i might not be living at home, and not seeing my family every day. my brothers will be in high school before i know it, and ill be married. am i really taking every moment and doing something good with it? or am i being lazy and just wasting away these precious last months with my family. 

life is just...a huge mystery for me right now. there are so many things i do with my life, and i just dont know what i want to do.