Sunday, October 30, 2011

im a fourth through my senior year....

i am a fourth through my senior year...i seriously started crying today thinking about it. it is going so fast! but good news..the most stressful week of life is..over! goodness gracious. i really wish i was smart. school would be so much easier! i study for tests for hours, and i still get bad grades. what is wrong with me? it is one of the most frustrating things in the world.  i would get into any college i wanted, and i wouldnt even have to try! ugh anyways. this week included 2 days of work, open gyms, end of term, and sadies madness. plus all of the other little things on the side. im happy to say its over though. now i actually should get started on scholorships stuff. i need to apply to colleges this is a longer process than i thought.
so i've decided i reallllyyy need a camera.  it is driving me crazy not having one!  i usually take so many pictures and it is killing me not having any of my senior year! man. life is just crazy right now.  i am still not sure if im trying out for the basketball team. i am not sure i want to put myelf through what i went through, again this year.  i really want to play, but i just dont know. this could seriously change my senior year. i was also thinking of doing lacrosse....i think it would be super fun. i am just not sure! tryouts are in a week...and im still on the fence....
i have been writing this narrative for my college writing class and its gotten me thinking about my life. what have i done with my life?? am i just letting it slip past me?? levi lost his first tooth the other feels like a few months ago we moved here and he was year old. in a year..i might not be living at home, and not seeing my family every day. my brothers will be in high school before i know it, and ill be married. am i really taking every moment and doing something good with it? or am i being lazy and just wasting away these precious last months with my family. 
life is just...a huge mystery for me right now. there are so many things i do with my life, and i just dont know what i want to do.   

Sunday, October 23, 2011

if we were dating??

if we were dating?? that would have been super romantic. but we are not. and thats ok. because right now? i dont need to be dating anyone.  this is high school people. YOU DONT NEED A BOYFRIEND! i know its fun, but you dont need that right now. at least my little crush has his priorities straight, and keeps mine straight too. even if nothing comes of it later? i can honestly say he has made me a better person for making me keep my distance.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

28 of my favorite things

sooo ive been tagged 4 times for this whole "say 7 things about yourself" thing. well now you get to hear 28 things about me. hazaww! alright if you get can just stop reading

1. ive always wanted to learn how to play the guitar.  2. ive tried almost every sport out there..except soccer. never been interested in playing soccer, never will  3. i love anything thats a dip or sandwich. subway=heaven. 7 layered dip=celestial. salsa(especially homemade)=amazing. 4. i am sucker for chick flicks 5.  i am obsessed with headbands and i dont like wearing jewelry  6. i work at maceys and i LOVE it!  7.  my mom makes the best cookies you'll ever taste( yes..bre will attest to that) and i think i have developed that talent..:) that is how i will win my husband over, by cookies! 8. i cant stand to have my fingernails long or painted 9. i am only ticklish in one feet. 10. i have the shortest attention span in the world 11. in 4th grade i went to detention twice 12. i have an obsession with old ford trucks. that is my dream car 13. my favorite animal is a llama or duck 14. i could eat costa every day of my life if my budget allowed it 15. i am obsessed with my bike and biking itself. i suck at mountain biking, but its still fun! 16. i was voted class clown in 5th grade 17. i love to wake surf and spend time on the water. no matter how much sun screen i have to slab on to protect my baby skin, i love it! my week at lake powell was seriously one of the best weeks of my life! 18. i am a diehard byu fan, but i will most likely end up going to usu. 19. i am allergic to dogs, cats, and pine nuts 20. my first kiss was by the rc willey outlet store in the freezing cold 21. ive always wanted to be in a play. 22. one of my pet peeves is when people waste water. whether its washing dishes, showers, dumping out waterbottles. whatever 23. i hate to go shopping. HATE. the only kind of shopping i like is shoe shopping. i have an obsession with shoes. but not heals and too tall to wear those. vans, converse, toms, rocketdogs, old navy flipflops, ya..those are the kinds i like. 24. i dont really watch tv, but i lovvvee sytycd, friends, psych, and survivor. 25. my favorite color is turquoise 26. when i grow up, i want a wooden swing to be tied to a giant tree in my front yard. and a roof i can climb on and watch the sunset and stars as much as i want:) 27. i love pearls. they are so sophisticated. favorite flowers are daisies.
well there are some random things i could come up with on the spot. how many do i get to tag?? well im gonna tag four because thats how many times i got tagged:)
aubrey, karlee, kimmie, jamaica

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

studly men

aww today has been a great day to say the least.  i usually dont really like my b days..ok they are the worst. first period i have medical anatomy and i just do not like science and my tiny little brain cant handle it. plus then i have math..and i just get bored. but then i have pack and college writing and those are always fun, so its pretty evenly balanced i guess.

but today..was just a fun day all around. i got to go and teach the little kiddies at windsor for pack today, and those kids just lighten up my day! i love those kindergarteners!

then after school i got to go help out in kendra's sisters class for tutoring hours for NHS, so fun! 2 hours of playing with those crazy kids!

then i went on a nice easy run with stacie, so nice.

then we had my mothers glorious homemade pizza for dinner! cant beat that! 

then my friend katy was playing with her band at this little competition at UVU, so i rounded up some other friends to go and watch her play, and that was a blast, and she did so good! 

then i was taking ellie and laurie home, and laurie and i were just messing around and dancing in my car in front of her house when i decided i really didnt want to go to open gym because it was half over, and i just..ok i really didnt want to go and work out at that moment.  so instead, we went to go get ice cream at maceys! first surprise of the evening, a myserious man who i just happened to take on a date at one point in my life...was at maceys too!  so he came and talked to us for awhile, so that was really fun to talk to him for a few mintues.   then, my favorite person to work with was working tonight, and he came and talked to us too!  sometimes...i really think boys at this age are dumb and immature..but then sometimes...they totally change my mind. like today. aww man.  i had so much fun dancing in my car all crazy with laurie tonight and loosing our voices, and talking to some studly men! just need a night to be crazy and have fun to relief all the stress that has been building up the last few was a great day:)

Monday, October 10, 2011

new perspective

so i had an interesting experience today. i got home from ward volleyball practice and the only people that were home were my parents. that never happens! i am always the one that is gone. i got to sit down and eat fancy chili dogs with my parents for dinner, and have a nice little talk with them. in medical anatomy i have to do a report on a type of cancer.  my teacher said that it would be beneficial if we did our report on a cancer that effected someone we know, so its more interesting. i have several close relatives on both sides of my family that have been affected by cancer, and some have died from it.  i asked my parents what my grandpa calder died from, who died when i was 8 i think.  i thought he had died from some bone cancer, come to find out it was prostate cancer, that later spread to his hip mostly.  i got to hear the whole story for the first time tonight. as an 8 year old, i didnt really understand what was going on.  i knew my grandpa pretty well, but it didnt really affect me too much at that age. it was really interesting to hear my dads feelings about it, and some of the really cool things that happened those ten years. he was first diagnosed when i was 2 i think, and they were able to catch it , and have the opperation to get ride of the cancer. they didnt do radiation because they didnt think he needed it.  he went ten years without anything bothering him. he had always been very active, and the first time my dad really realized that the cancer was back, was when all the guys went golfing and his hip really started to hurt him. it ended up coming back, and rapidly growing in his bones that it quickly weakened him.  one of the cool things was when he was really bad, he got to come see our finished basement that my dad had done. a few years before that my grandpa and my dad worked on the plumbing and electrical together, and then he got to see my dads hard work that he had done, and see the beautifully finished basement.  that was something i had never heard before.  there are only a few distinct things i do remember about this time.  i remember hearing the news that my grandpa had passed away, and just going in the bathroom to cry.  i was only 8, but i understood enough to know the things that were going on. then seeing my dad sad just made it all worse. sometimes i think what it would be like to have him around still.  he never even got to meet levi, and nate was only 2 when he died.  he would have been able to go to my basketball games with my grandma, i could have more of his warm hugs on holidays, he could still be coming to flaming gorge with us and spending time together playing cards, going to the byu football games with the rest of the family in the seats that we have had for like 25 years, and he could have seen me grow up keep telling me how tall i am getting. though  i  know that he is probably so happy right now with his youngest son duane up there, just serving away.  tonight talking to my parents, and especially my dad, was just something i think i needed to hear right now, to get a new perspective on life.

here are a few pictures i found of my grandpa. i tried to find some silly ones from flaming gorge, but i unfortunatly dont think i have a copy of those

here is a picture of my dad and my grandpa right before he died

 here is a picture my grandma found about a year ago, while digging in some old family albums. this was me at age 3 on mothers day. 

 this is grandpa calder with new born nate

this picture was taken at my cousin dustins wedding, probably just a year or so before he died


Sunday, October 9, 2011

college freaks me out..

this week i have spent most of my time thinking about college. between college day, and finding out there is no possible way for me to get into BYU, then spending thursday up in idaho at BYUI in the blizzard, and looking at scholorships on saturday....i am overloaded with the stress of college! i am so not ready to move on with my life and all of that jazz. just looking at my gpa and act, i have a very slim chance of getting a good scholorship anywhere. hopefully my background of service galore will get me into some school out there. are some pictures of our adventures up in idaho this week.
taco bus!!

 let me introduce you to..the taco bus. pretty sure it is one of the weirdest things i have ever experienced.  it is literally a bus..that has a kitchen in the back..and benches in the front. you buy a bus! and watch the mexican tv while your eating! so much fun:) idaho is pretty weird!
 in the blizzard
 all matchy matchy
 we couldnt find the knife in the we used scissors:) haha. dont mind the very tired was like 7 in the morning...and i had been up for a few hours already.

 yeah college!!!
this here pack. it is a leaderhip/service group for my school. i love this class! we get to do so many fun things and i love this group!! there are a few missing in this picture..but this is most of us. hooray for things that make high school worth it!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

sadies, penguins, weird free concerts

this is the recap of my week because i have no time to post everyday!! so here we go!

soooo asking to dances at my school=total caos.  just girls dances though. apparently, you need to ask 4 months in advance or your date will get taken.  girls are insane around here! so i was going to ask this guy on monday..he got asked like 2 hours before that. then another possiblity..he got asked 4 days before.  so then i had no idea who to ask because i am going to be honest...i dont know too many guys at our school.  so i am going to ask a kid i dont even know..but last year i did practically the same thing, and it was so much fun. so i am just gonna do it, and hopefully he at least knows who i am.  hopefully...

tuesday i worked a 4-midnight shift...pretty much killed me. but it was with fun people so it was worth it. 

i am not sure if i want it to be fall yet. i have enjoyed summer so much..but i am ready for fall. this is a constant battle within myself..deciding on what to think haha

we had some really good work outs in conditioning. i missed allt he open gyms because of work and stuff. its crazy that its already that month till try outs! im freakin out!

on wednesday i got to go to kids on the move to play with little kids for a few hours for our term service project for PACK! it was so much fun! we got to sing songs, play tag, hold the cutest baby alive, and all that fun stuff! definetly a great way to spend your evening. 

thursday i went to this free concert at the velour. it was...really weird actually. the first girl was good but a girl in the audience passed out..quite intersting. then this random band played that were pretty good. the tamborine player struggled though. then j.wride played, and i really like their stuff. they are super talented, and all attractive so thats always good ha. then the young electric headlined.  we have seen them before but they didnt have their drummer, so they did acoustic stuff. this time...they were like a full on rock band. in that little place?? all the smoke, giant flashing lights, and them spastically jumping all over the stage?? it was kinda weird. we decided to leave because the crowd was being really crazy...and it just wasnt fun anymore. they were good...but it wasnt really our then we went and visited malorie at work at got lemonade:) it was a weird..but fun night:)

friday was a blast! i went to the football game against mv...which we won! it was a way fun game, and we got to storm the field and everything! soooo much fun:) then we went to the stomp, which was kinda weird because they kept playing like dirty dancing songs..and it was just..ya weird.  but i still had fun. then we went to wendys and got frosties and just hung out outside till like midnight.

saturday i just kinda..hung around the house and watched conference all day. that was great fun. then i went to work from 4 to midnight. it was the weirdest night! from was all women in the store. no joke, then once 8 hit....the whole store was overflowing with penguins demanding ice cream! it was really funny. it was a really fun night at work though.even if their were no boys there:) i just love the people i work with.

now im about to go watch the last sesssion of conference:) conference is always so great, and i love listening to the twelve. they are amazing, and i always feel the spirit. happy conference weekend!